Creditor/Debtor Relation

By Laura Warman

They ask me if I owe them anything and I calculate all our interactions and the times they have hurt me against the times I have hurt them and determine we are even.

the girls body is the public body the girl is the purchaser as a girl I

The main problem now with society is we aren’t able to think as a collective. We continually convince ourselves and each other that we are individuals and we are making these choices as individuals.

daddy gave me my credit score

I am walking down the street in San Fransisco and four children on the sidewalk are picking up pieces of broken glass and throwing them at each other

If we could see ourselves as a collective we could begin to form a  future where we weren’t Freelancers or Adjuncts and we would All Make More Money.

he touched me and I let him because I knew my body wasn't my body And would never be my body the girl

Tonight I will watch a film Tonight  I  will  go  to  the grocery store

There  is  a  grocery  store called whole foods

There  is  a  grocery  store called trader joes

There  is  a  grocery  store called stop and shop

And I go there and I buy that and I like it

the  girls  body  is  the  plastic body

you believe in me because of my credit score

we applaud Corporation for risk taking we Return their assets when they disappear 

We reward productivity

I’m working on Myself

I am doing Work I am taking some time for Me

I am nothing and i am working towards nothing

time becomes something that we choose 

that we can give away that can become owned

He said he flirts with everyone, even dogs, so I shouldn’t take it personally that he flirted with me and didn’t want me.

The STI is almost gone, the baby is gone.

The creditor/ debtor relation is one based on time.

I will go to the gym.

I will run on the elliptical for 30 minutes

I will do the abductor for ten minutes

I will do the bike for 20 minutes

You believe in my credit score
You believe in me 

I am always either on a date or getting ready for a date. As if I could ever be Off The Market.

my boyfriend and i exchanged social security numbers

his was not like mine at all he wanted me to have it so i could remember it

I was used to having a boyfriend steal my identity until they actually stole my identity the passionate nature of money makes boyfriend take out accounts in my name makes him acquire debt for me makes him smile makes new girlfriend receive presents from me credit is about desire, power is about fortitude if he has faith in me he will act towards me 

and i know something about faith 

It’s Easter and I walk to another date. We meet at the coffee shop. I walk past the church and the doors open. People in pastel pour out. I hear a noise so foreign; a cry. I look through the crowd and see a baby lamb on a leash. 

Christianity gave us the infinite

Jesus gave us the idea of a repayment plan

Jesus sacrificed himself for our debt

The Original Scale is The Body

We place the poison everywhere and the ants quickly find it and drink and drink 

I am at the lecture and everyone is asking questions that aren’t questions. I raise my hand and say “What does the future look like for people without the Internet?” and the lecturer says “Very bleak, more poverty is guaranteed. More dichotomy. More suffering.” 

The metaphoric violence was at first easy to ignore 

Everyone gets followed down the street 

in the dark

at night

after the bar

everyone gets told to smile and smiles

Commodification requires a clear sign in the signifier/ signified relationship 

Okay, this is a poem about My Body 

This is a poem about my interactions with capital 

This is a poem about The Boyfriend 

I will make this concrete so we can consume it

sell it

till it leaves

till it becomes Absence

Again

This is not art this is money sorry 

Representation is Ownership He touches my shoulder and I let him because he has more power than me. 

And you do it again. And you do it again. And I let you do it again.

Originally published at Ruth Stone Foundation.


Awst Collection - Laura Warman
5.00

Laura Warman's Awst Collection in print. Hand sewn. Contains Warman Talks Sex and Fall of the Body, and was nominated for a 2016 Pushcart Prize.