I may not be able to summon joy at will on holiday – or in any one moment – but I trust that I can find someone to share it with me when I’m in need.
Read MoreJoy In Uncertain Times
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essay series
‘Number XIX: The Sun’: Solar Variations on Joy and Grief
in Essay
That is, in the middle of a second Covid lockdown in Edinburgh, while freshly fatherless, having had the last images of my dad, my last words to him, shunted through the light of a laptop screen, in a time when such virtually distanced dying was happening en masse, as I filmed a eulogy for the online funeral, separated by an ocean’s length from my mom and sisters, and unwrapped wax paper parcels of fresh bread sent from our friends Moss & Rosa who couldn’t come sit inside with us, it wasn’t The Tower (Upheaval) or The Hermit (Isolation) or even The Star (Healing) whose page I kept open on my desk. It was the one canvas Carrington covered totally in golden foil, ‘Number XIX: The Sun’ (Joy).
Read MoreWho I Am
in Essay
You are who you are. The idea is so simple, yet we keep convincing ourselves that being ourselves requires more. Ultimately, it’s taken stepping outside the surveillance of authenticity for me to find joy. I’m not trying to look for a mythical authentic figure to aspire toward. I do what I like. I do who I like. I am who I am.
Read MoreJoy as Protection
in Essay
Three years ago, I would have dropped any happiness I carried as soon as something heavier or more agonizing came along. But something has shifted. I think something has shifted inside many of us.
Read MoreGhost Pansy
in Essay
Happy and haunted — two concepts I’d never put into conversation. I’d always thought it could only be one or the other, never both. How unqueer of me. I’ve revised my thinking to cherish joy because of its occasional ghostliness. I cultivate it, tend to it, as if it were the ghost pansy brought to life.
Read MoreIntroduction from our 2021 Curator
Check out our 2021 Essay Series authors and a note from Awst Press editor, Tatiana Ryckman.
Read MoreNeon Demon (2016): Nicolas Winding Refn’s Dangerous Supplement
in Essay
“It tricks us into questioning the reality of reality rather than the reality within the film. A feeling that seems something like the dominating mood this historical moment, where life is a social media post waiting to happen.”
Read MoreA Series of Hong Kong Commercials
in Essay
…a lot of people’s lives would be easier if they could unabashedly display the love they choose.
Read MoreIn These Uncertain Times
in Essay
“For this joy, I hit the heart emoji, all day long because it is hope and it is always certain that I will find it somewhere, as long as the well is deep and there are people pressing forward with life, even if they are infants, unaware of the burden they will inherit.”
Read MoreMedia Essay
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Entertainment used to be an escape, now it’s an expectation and, like with everything we take for granted, I’ve grown resentful of both its presence and its absence.
Read MoreIntroduction from our 2020 Curator
What does our media say about our culture? What does our reliance on media say about us as individuals? How does the media we consume change us? Does the infinite connection of social media really bring us closer together?
Read MoreHope
“I go to work, smiling for whatever reason. My face comprehends this pleasure fully, but if you ask me, I don’t know why. Rain just brings me joy. “ Erica Bonner sharing moments of joy.
Read MoreI Am Not Your Mother
“I’ve learned that…it does take a village to raise a child—especially from afar. While there are many systems in place to maintain that distance, there are few to close the gap. I hope one day to see better relationships across the razor wire…. I want all of this for the benefit of the kids who bare a disproportionate share of the burden of our adult decisions.”
Read MoreThoughts from our 2017 Essay Series Curators
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Sophfronia and Susanna share their thoughts about this year's essay series.
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